Of Puppies and Kittens
by RegenesisX
Summary: In which Sephiroth discovers that he too can suffer from "cuteness overload." And that Zack is severely allergic to cats. EDITED 5/23/2014


**Author's Note: **It's late and I'm tired, but after three days I FINALLY FINISHED THIS! Most of what happens with the cat, by the way, has happened to me at some point in my life. My foot's asleep.

_Edited 5/23/14_

**Warnings: **Cuteness.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Final Fantasy VII. But I own the cat. :)

* * *

**Of Puppies and Kittens**

_Late one night, at ShinRa Inc…_

Zack yawned.

_Boy _was he tired. After being woken up rather rudely by Reno and Kunsel dumping a bucket of freezing cold water on him and chasing them all over the entire SOLDIER floor with a can of whipped cream, he'd gone onto his classes as usual. Angeal had rushed off to some meeting and left his apprentice to fend for himself once they'd finished sparring for the evening. Thus was the reason Zack was dragging himself into his room with every intention of falling asleep before Angeal could force him to do his homework.

Flicking on the light, Zack stretched his arms above his head and let out another yawn. He stopped and stared in confusion at his bed.

There was definitely something wrong.

Nestled in the rumples of Zack's unmade bed was a ball of yellow fluff. His first thought was that something had escaped from the labs and had somehow gotten into his room through a vent. Approaching with caution, he soon realized it was neither fluff nor a monster, but in fact a fuzzy tabby cat.

"Well how did you get in here?" Zack cooed, reaching over to pet the cat. He giggled when it lifted its head and stretched, parting its jaws in a yawn to rival the SOLIDER's. Then it turned to blink at him with astonishingly blue eyes. "Hey, you're kinda cute."

The cat shifted onto its side, letting Zack rub its tummy.

"Aww, I like ya, but you can't stay here, little guy." Nuzzling his hand, the cat started to purr. It was like trying to tell and teary-eyed child they couldn't have a lollipop, but from the telltale tickle in his nose, he knew the cat had to leave. "I'm—" He was interrupted by a sneeze. "I'm allergic to cats. So it's time to go, kitty."

Worming his hands underneath the cat proved to be rather difficult, due to both the size of his hands and the amount of fur he had to get past. The cat wasn't making it any easier by kicking at his hand with one of its back legs. The moment he managed to get a grip on it, the cat went limp. Biting his tongue in concentration, Zack heaved the cat up, despite its sudden change in weight.

And then, he couldn't pull it any farther.

Zack looked down and saw that the cat had latched its claws into his comforter. "No kitty, you need to let go," he said, unable to help snickering. The cat was smart. He tugged a little harder. "If you stay here, I'll feel like I'm stuffed with cotton in less than an hour." To illustrate his point, he sniffled.

But the cat took no notice, stubbornly refusing to give up its death-grip on the comforter. In fact, it started to use it to claw itself further onto the bed.

_Geez, what is this? Supercat? _Zack wondered as the cat managed to pry itself away. He watched, dumbfounded, as it promptly curled itself back up. Not about to let some stupid cat beat him, he reached out to grab for it again.

The kitty blinked up at him, successfully melting Zack's brain into a puddle of "awwwwwwww!"

Sighing, Zack's shoulders slumped in defeat. "What am I going to_do _with you?" he muttered, scratching the back of his head. It looked like he'd need to call in reinforcements. Preferably someone a little more cute-resistant. Turning away, he went to find his phone and call the only one he could think of who might have a little more insight on how to deal with the situation.

* * *

"You want me to _what?_"

"_Pleeeease, Sephiroth? I can't get it to leave and I—ACHOO! I'm _really _allergic._"

Sephiroth groaned quietly and rubbed his eyes. Leave it to Zack to get into the most absurd situations. "Can't you just pick it up and put it outside?"

"_That's the problem, see—_sniff—_I can't do that either."_

"And why not?"

"_It won't let go of the bed!_"

Unable to help himself, Sephiroth snorted and covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. "Are you really so pathetic that you can't get a _cat _out of your room?"

"_Hmmph! Well if you saw it, you wouldn't think so. It's just so _cute…"

"Get a hold of yourself, SOLDIER."

"_Please Seph? Ahh…Ahh.. ACHOOO!_"

Knowing he'd probably never get off the phone otherwise, Sephiroth reluctantly agreed. Mostly because Zack's sneezes were _painfully _loud and crackly over the receiver. "Alright, fine."

"_Thank you so much Sephiroth, you have no idea—_"

Sephiroth hung up on the babbling Second, eager to just get this over with. Dealing with Angeal's loopy apprentice wasn't exactly his idea of 'fun,' but at least this would get him out of late-night paperwork for a while. Standing up from his desk, Sephiroth mentally prepared himself for facing a hysterical Zack when his office door flew open without warning.

"Good mooooooooorning Sephy!"

_Oh Goddess, no._

"Genesis?" Sephiroth blinked at his normally-composed Second in Command. Genesis was leaning heavily against the door frame, a bottle clutched in his hand and a goofy grin smeared on his face. He giggled randomly, then snorted like a pig, which caused him to cackle wildly at the noise. Genesis was drunk. Again. And, as usual, at the most inconvenient time possible.

"Sephyyy," he drawled again, forcing Sephiroth to wince at the ridiculous nickname.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, approaching Genesis. Moving faster than the general thought possible for someone so intoxicated, Genesis glommed onto him and nuzzled his face underneath the curtain of silver hair. Sephiroth's entire body froze, not knowing how to respond to the situation.

Genesis, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to Sephiroth's shock and slowly began to rock back and forth as one would to do a baby in a cradle. "I miiiised youuuu," he sing-songed in an irritatingly high voice.

Finally regaining some control over his limbs, Sephiroth attempted to pry off Genesis' arms. "Could you please let go of me?"

"No!" he shrieked, hugging the general tighter. "I won't let the Candy Cane Monster come and take you away from me!"

Really, all Sephiroth could do was raise an eyebrow. Yeah, Genesis wasn't going to be any help. _He and Zack must be in cahoots_, he thought idly as he sighed. Attempting to ignore the fact that a fully grown man was currently clinging to him and whimpering nonsense about man-eating butterflies and talking grape jelly, Sephiroth exited his office and started down the hall. A lot of strange looks were thrown in his direction, but the general simply glared, daring them to comment.

Head held high, he stopped at Zack's door and knocked.

"SEPHIROTH! I'msogladyou'rehereI—ACHOO!—reallyneedyourhelpand—what's wrong with Genesis?"

Sephiroth simply shook his head. "Don't ask. Now, where is this... cat?"

"Kitty?" Genesis perked up. "Kitty!" he cheered.

Clamping a hand over the redhead's mouth, Sephiroth followed Zack to the bedroom where he found the cause of the Second's problems peacefully curled up on the blue comforter.

"I just can't get him to leave," Zack said, sucking in a disgustingly phlegmy breath. "And I'm feeling awful."

Before Sephiroth could make moves to fix the situation, Genesis detached from him and began to zigzag over to the bed, crooning "kiiiityyyy," over and over. He reached out a hand to pet it, but sharp little claws connected with skin and Genesis yelped in pain. The cat opened its jaws in a defiant hiss as Genesis backed away. He removed his hand from his mouth long enough to hiss back.

"See what I mean?" Zack whined. "He won't let me touch him now that he knows I'm trying to get him off the bed. He's something out of the labs, I swear."

Sephiroth furrowed his brow. It did indeed seem the cat was feral. His first instinct was to take Masamune to it, but even _he _wasn't so heartless to do that to an innocent kitty. On the other hand…

No, it simply wouldn't do. And he highly doubted Zack would appreciate having blood splatteredall over his _bed_. Even as he mulled it over, he noticed Zack watching the little animal with a hint of fondness in his eyes. Skewering the cat was officially not an option, even if it was more than likely that it had been tampered with by Proffesor Hojo.

"Maybe we can lure it off," he suggested. "Do you have any food?"

Zack snorted as best he could with a stuffed-up nose. "Tried it after I called you."

"Hm..."

"Seph?"

Sephiroth glanced down at Genesis, who had curled up in the corner on the floor. Extending a hand out towards him, the commander put on a rather pathetic face. Or, what he probably thought was pathetic.

"Kiss it and make it better?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "I don't think so."

And just like that, Genesis burst into tears. Flabbergasted, both Zack and Sephiroth stared. It might have been laughable had it not been the first time he'd even seen Genesis cry. Suddenly feeling very guilty, Sephiroth went over and leaned down to tap his shoulder. Enormous pools of watery azure stared up at him. A bottom lip trembled.

Sephiroth felt no better than the sludge in Midgar gutters.

"I'm sorry," he said, cursing his naturally unapologetic-sounding tone. "I didn't mean it."

Genesis didn't seem to notice and extended his hand again, but not for the same purposes as the last time. His eyes were locked onto the silver strands of hair that hung around Sephiroth's face. Almost hesitantly, Genesis batted at them, a stupid grin coming to his face.

"That's it!"

Zack's voice shattered Sephiroth's happy moment and forced him back into his bizarre reality.

"What's it?" He didn't like the direction this was going.

"Your hair!"

He _definitely _didn't like the direction this was going. "…What about my hair?"

"We can use it to lure the cat off the bed," Zack explained, looking more and more excited by the second.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think this would work?"

Zack shrugged. "Well, it worked on Genesis didn't it? And he's like a cat. Sorta. I mean, if you think about it for long enough in a roundabout kind of way."

Straightening up, Sephiroth gave Zack a death-glare. "If you can't think of anything better than that in the next thirty seconds, I'm leaving Genesis here with you as well."

"Sephiroth! Please! I don't think I can face Angeal knowing I've already dragged you down here to help me. He'll laugh me into next month as it is!"

The head-tilted, wide-eyed expression Zack wore reminded Sephiroth of a puppy. A little, lost, innocent puppy in need of rescue. Was Sephiroth really so cruel that he'd abandon this poor, pathetic, mucus-infested animal? He thought not! With that in mind, he turned and strode confidently to the bed. The orange menace lazily ignored him as if it had better things to do. Taking a deep breath, the general pulled a chunk of his precious, knee-length hair and dangled it in front of the cat.

_I cannot believe I'm doing this, _was his first thought.

_Thank the Goddess Genesis won't be remembering this, _was his second.

Instantly, the cat's head lifted and its ears perked up. It experimentally slapped a paw over the dancing strands and looked utterly astounded to see them simply slide out from underneath its grip. Jumping to its feet, the cat eagerly pursued the hair as if it were a mouse until it reached the edge of the bed and it was scooped up into strong, kitty-claw-resistant, leather-clad arms. Just as Genesis had done, it reached up a paw to bat at the hair framing the esteemed general's face.

Zack launched into a very off-key rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus.

While Angeal's apprentice danced about the room in victory and pulled an unsteady Genesis up to join him, Sephiroth couldn't help noticing how blue the cat's eyes were. It was like staring into two brilliantly-colored sapphires. They blinked back at him, intelligent expression seeping into their depths. So what if the cat had probably been altered and had the potential to mutate into a hideously vicious monster at any given moment? Sephiroth could use some company in his lonely apartment.

"I think I'll name you Cloud," he smiled, stroking the kitty's soft, fluffy fur. Indeed, he was like a cloud. Pale fur showing only hints of the sky it hid.

He hadn't noticed Zack had stopped dancing until he spoke. "I think he likes you," he teased.

Sephiroth ignored him, turning to leave the room while murmuring affectionate nonsense to Cloud.

"Hey wait! Take Genesis with you!"

* * *

_The next morning…_

It was like little thousands of angry Bahamuts were having a rave party inside of his head, Genesis decided as consciousness flooded his senses. Groaning, he attempted to move, but the party suddenly escalated in volume so his body opted to stay put. His brain seconded the motion.

"Hey Gen, glad to see you join the land of the living."

_Aaaaaargh! _Genesis' mind shrieked. It sounded like someone had just screamed into his ear. This was like the after effects of getting Mako injections, only ten times worse.

Whoever it was started laughing, which only served to fuel the redhead's killing instinct even further. Yes, unsuspecting idiots had better keep looking behind them, Genesis Rhapsodos was out for blood. And he would be on the warpath as soon as this yucky feeling in his stomach went away.

Cracking open an eye, Genesis could just _barely _make out a mop of spiky black hair. Aha! So _Zack _was the culprit behind his current state of… disarray. He attempted to sit up, but it proved to be much easier said than done.

"Easy there, let me help you." A firm grip around his shoulders kept him from crumpling back to the floor.

Again, Genesis flinched. "Not so loud, Zackary," he mumbled, lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the glaring light coming from above. Had Zack left him _outside? _As his vision swam into focus, he made bright tile and wooden cupboards. Was this supposed to be a kitchen? Or a bathroom? Goddess, wasn't there anything to look at that wasn't _white? _"What happened?"

"You got drunk and passed out."

"I think I noticed. Care to elaborate on the minor detail that I'm on your bathroom floor?"

Zack's expression turned sheepish. "Well, you were already pretty trashed when you got here, and I had _no _idea what I was going to tell Angeal when he got home…"

"So you hid me in the bathroom?" Genesis gaped. He'd admit it; he was completely and utterly mortified. "Oh Gaia," he groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Why didn't you make me go back to my apartment? Or leave me out in the hallway? I would've gotten home _eventually._"

"Angeal wouldn't leave me alone! I was trying to work up enough nerve to tell him, but I chickened out when he said I was acting like you after you got back from parties at three in the morning. I didn't want to get you in trouble, cuz he's always referring to your 'irresponsible behavior.' "

Genesis frowned. Angeal was using him as the 'bad example' for his lectures? "Thanks a lot, Angeal," he muttered. This was turning out to be an unpleasant hangover. Not that any form of hangover would be pleasant. Really, why didn't Mako cure them?

"You want anything to eat?" Zack asked, changing the subject.

Scrunching his face, Genesis shook his head. "Let me puke my guts out first so I have less to throw up."

Fifteen minutes, several flushes of the toilet and mouth-washings later, Genesis emerged from the bathroom feeling more or less awake. There was nothing like starting out the morning by getting rid of last night—in the most sarcastic way possible.

His back was really sore from sleeping on the tile, too.

He found Zack in the living room doubled over on the floor in hysterics, complete with tears streaming down his face. Genesis crossed his arms, not really knowing what to make of the situation. Something was seriously wrong with Angeal's protégé. Of course, Angeal had nearly tossed him out the 49th story window when he'd suggested he get the boy checked out by a psychiatrist. But he thought _Genesis _was the one with problems.

"Have I missed something?" he inquired once the howls had subsided somewhat.

Zack sat up, shoulders shaking. "Y-you have _no _idea." With a trembling hand, he lifted his PHS. Genesis took it and read the message on the screen, from one Cloud Strife.

_Hey Zack, I__just went to report to General Sephiroth's office. It was like walking into the office of the evil mastermind in those old spy movies where they guy is stroking his white cat. I'm glad Sephiroth has a new best friend and everything, but is there any particular reason we have the same name?_

Genesis glanced down at the giggling teen. "Well start filling me in, _Puppy. _And forward me this message while you're doing it so I can blackmail Sephiroth."

* * *

**A/N: **Rawr. I have this theory, see... that Sephiroth isn't _really_ as cold-hearted as everyone makes him out to be before he went nuts. We all have to succumb to extreme cuteness once and a while. I got my dose in the form of writing Genesis xD Er, I meant the cat. And Zack. :P I'm just tired...


End file.
